“So…you work with your husband?” If that’s not a loaded question I don’t know what is. Usually when I tell people I work with my husband they look at me with this half quizzical look on their face – as if they are not sure to be excited or scared for me.
Until a few years ago I had never thought much about creating a life plan for myself. I’ve been in business long enough to have created goal sheets, vision boards, 5 year plans and 10 years plans. And then in 2016 I went to Nashville and sat in on an amazing event and book launch […]
The last two weeks I’ve been writing about the importance of Balance in our lives.
But what happens on those days when your best laid plans go haywire? When your schedule is laid out and just as you sit down the phone rings and the message on the other end completely hijacks your day?
As a woman in business, as well as a wife and mom, hijacked days seem to occur rather frequently. Sometimes it’s my girls on the other end or a call that I’m needed at one of our construction jobs or at the office to work with staff.
I used to get frustrated at the interruptions and yet felt guilty because I knew these other things were important too. The reality is that I’m still a mom of four active daughters AND the owner of a construction company that has daily deadlines both on and off the field.
Knowing I didn’t’ want to keep battling the frustration I took an afternoon to do some internal inventory.
Often when an external emotion – like frustration – rears its ugly head, often a deeper root issue is the driver. As I contemplated that afternoon I realized that the source of my frustration was not in the interruption but rather the things I was allowing to be sacrificed because of the interruption.
So I asked myself this simple question: What are the two most important things that must happen in my day for it to feel like a success? Even if nothing else on my work “to-do” list gets done, what must happen for me to be ok with the end of my day?
First, my Meditation-Prayer time and my daily run need to be priority. If these two simple things happen, even if they are shorter than planned, I find that my frustration melts away.
Secondly, I reminded myself that today was only one day. Tomorrow is a new day with fresh possibilities.
Over the last few years I have realized the importance of taking time to nourish my overall health – spiritual, mental, emotional and physical. When I do, my Business and Life thrive. When I don’t it all suffers. However, it often can be the first thing I sacrifice in the name of trying to salvage a hijacked day.
The reality is that there are days that will not go as planned and days where you feel like your schedule has been hijacked. When it does try these two strategies and see if they help your day end in success.
2 Simpel Strategies For Staying On Track:
Ask yourself – What is the 1 or 2 things that need to happen in my day for it to feel like a success? Then do them.
Remind yourself that tomorrow is a new day. We can’t always control what hijacks our day but we can control our attitude and outlook to it.
It’s up to you. Choice wisely.
“Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?” (Luke 12:25 – NIV)
It was as close to the perfect day as you could get. We sat there, just me and her, licking our ice cream cones, watching folks as they drove into the square. People walked the street, moving in and out of open shop doors, kids dashed ahead of their parents, only to stop and glance back to make sure they were still in tow. It was mid-day and just warm enough to not need a jacket. We sat there in companionable silence, only speaking when something funny or out of the ordinary caught our attention.
As I sat there with my oldest girl, I thought to myself – “I am so glad I said “yes” to this moment.”
Sitting there I recalled a conversation I had with her just a few weeks prior.
She came to my room, plopping down on my bed. I could tell she had a lot on her mind – Final senior year classes, her part-time job, sports, ACT’s, SAT’s, College applications, travel plans, summer plans, finances, friends – So much too do, so many things to consider and decisions to make. I could tell she was overwhelmed.
“Mom, what do I do?” “How do I decided” What if I make the wrong choice?” – The questions came fast and furious and I prayed that God would give me wisdom in that moment. Senior year can be stressful, with a million and one decisions to make. But I knew this was just the beginning for my young girl. Every season of life holds a thousand and one of these same questions and all those questions demand an answer. A yes or a no.
As we worked through her questions I knew this was an opportunity to pass on a life lesson I had been working on in the last few years.
“Sweetheart, you have to realize that you only have so many “yes’s” to give – and if you give too many “yes’s” away, then you’ll burn yourself out and make yourself sick. The key is deciding what and who to give those “Yes’s” too. Which ones, at the end of the day, really matter the most to you?”
“Once you decide what your “Yes’s” need to be then the rest of your list become “No’s” for right now, no matter how good or great they are.”
It was a lesson I learned the hard way. A few years ago I kept giving out “Yes’s” and ultimately burned myself out to the point that I became sick and deeply depressed. I had given away to many of my valuable yes’s to a lot of good thing but not necessarily the right things.
In the end, my health, my family and my relationships suffered.
Now on this side of that dark season I am so much more careful about the “Yes’s I give. I evaluate how many healthy “Yes’s” I can give in a day, a week, a month and in a year. Once I have decided what my limit is, I say “No” to everything else. Margin in life has become deeply important to me.
One of the Yes’s for me was this trip with my girl. This trip that found us eating ice-cream and people watching in a bustling little town seven hours from home. Sure, there’s plenty of stuff on my to-do list and a business on hold for a few days – But it’s a “Yes” I don’t regret giving. This time with my girl. With my book loving girl. Who loves browsing small town shops and people watching as much as I do.
3 Reasons To Manage The “Yes’s” In Your Life
Because Relationships Matter: At the end of the day the”Yes’s” you give directly effects the relationships that matters most to us – for good or for bad. You have the power to decide which it will be.
Your Health Will Thank You: Often, when we give away to many of our “Yes’s” our health suffers. Stress mounts, exercise decreases, bad eating increases and before we know it we have sacrificed one our our greatest assets – our health. Without health we can not go and do as we are called too. It pays to manage our “yes’s for the good of our health and for those we love and serve.
You Can Actually Accomplish More: Believe it or not, you can accomplish more by managing your “yes” moments. When your not pulled in so many directions, the things you have on your plate get done in a more timely manner and often with better results. Quality over quantity matters.
Remember – It matters who and what we give our “Yes’s” too. Are you giving too many of your “Yes’s” away? What do you need to say “No” to in this season?
If so, what is one thing you can do today to reclaim some of those “Yes” moments and create healthy margin in your life?